Do I Always Have to Put a Title?

Okay, 2 interesting passages of Scripture that I read today:
The 1st is actually rather encouraging - Deuteronomy 4:28-30, "There you will worship man-made gods of wood and stone, which cannot see or hear or eat or smell. But, if from there, you seek the Lord your God, you will find Him if you look for Him with all your heart and with all your soul. When you are in distress and all these things have happened to you, then in later days you will return to the Lord your God and obey Him."
Totally encouraging, right? Do I worship acutal gods of wood and stone - no, not necessarily. But, do I place things of this world before Him? - all the stinkin' time! I choose things over Him every single day. When He is not my number one priority, then that makes the things that are taking priority in my life over him, gods. But, this Scripture tells me that, if from here, I seek the Lord, I will find Him when I seek with all my heart and all my soul. That basically says to me that God knew ahead of time that I would make stupid decisions, like worshiping man-made idols, but then He told me how to remedy it! Thank You, Lord! Now, what exactly does it mean to seek Him with my whole heart and soul? How do I do that? That is my prayer for today -- that the Lord would teach me exactly how He would have me seek Him with everything that I am. Are there things that I need to remove from life in order to seek Him? What choices do I need to be making differently in order to give Him my all? I truly desire to know Him more and I want to seek Him with my whole heart and soul, so I pray today that He would guide me in that.
Okay, so I said that there were 2 passages of Scripture that I found today -- the 2nd one is not quite as encouraging, but definitely thought-provoking:
Hosea 5:6, "When they (speaking about the Israelites here) go with their flocks and herds to seek the Lord, they will not find Him; He has withdrawn Himself from them." The verse before it talks about them stumbling in their sin. I stumble everyday! Can you imagine the Lord withdrawing Himself from you? So, I sort of struggled with this verse today, questioning what causes the Lord to not be found. I know that I am not worthy of finding Him when I seek Him, but I read many other Scriptures today that promised I would find the Lord when I sought Him out. So, what is so different about the Israelites here? I don't understand it fully and it is not something that the Lord has chosen to reveal to me as of yet. I, basically, am leaning on the comfort of the Holy Spirit on this one for today. After praying about it, I trust Him and I trust that His Word is Truth! I trust that He wants intimacy with Him and so that is what I am going to seek! I thank the Holy Spirit for directing me today in coming to that conclusion!

1st Actual Journal Entry

Why is it so hard to spend time with the Lord, the Creator of the Universe who wants to spend time with me, the One who is my Provider and Sustainer and Protector? What is up with that? It's like I'm too selfish or something. When Boston takes a nap, I just want to do nothing (nothing means eat popcorn and watch crap on tv)! So, my prayer today is that the Lord with light a fire in my heart to want to know Him better, to show me how to manage my time better, and to be disciplined. Here's the Scripture He showed me today, courtesy of a Desiring God e-mail I receieve from John Piper everyday. I don't always open them immediately, but I did today and how fitting:
John 15:6 - "If anyone does not abide in me, he is thrown away like a branch and withers; the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned."
John 8:31 - "If you abide in my Word, you are truly my disciples."

Post Hurricane Ike- our front yard, side yard, back yard, front porch, and entire driveway is COVERED in branches and leaves that fell. I can't describe well enough that they are everywhere. Like, you can't see the cement on the driveway - you just see broken branches and leaves. Boston thinks it's cool because he likes "sticks" and now he can pick one up each time we go outside. But anyway, it totally paints a visual for me - my yard is full of the Christians in this world who choose not to abide in Christ, who decide to sit on the couch and eat popcorn rather than be intimate with the Lord! And what happens to those branches, they will be raked into pile, set out at the edge of the driveway with my trash, picked up on big trash day, and burned up! I don't want that to be me. Thank you, Lord, for painting that picture in my mind. Thank you for being there the moment I begin to seek You out. Thank you for convicting my heart today to abide in you. I want to be your true disciple. your follower, someone who radiates Christ to the rest of the world.

The Inaugral Blog

Okay, so basically, I have decided that I need some accountability in my life. Pathetic? The answer is yes, but it is what it is! I have friends with blogs - some insanely hilarious and awesome (www.pregnantbrainvomit.blogspot.com), some simply an easy way to communicate with friends and family without having to call or e-mail them all individually, and some an online spiritual journal. I need the latter. I hear people talk about what the Lord is teaching them and the Biblical lessons they are learning from life at the moment and it so hard for me to admit this to the entire world, but it's been a long time since I have been the one able to say such words. I recall many times in life when I was so deeply enthralled with God's Word and it's relevance in my life and absolutely loving the things that He would teach me. Sadly, that's not me right now. I feel like I am sort of in survival mode or something and I can't shake it. Don't get me wrong - I love the Lord with all my heart and He still teaches me things all of the time, but I've not been seeking out that teaching. I haven't been intimate with the Lord. I haven't been caught up with who He is and what His Word says and all that that entails. Thus, the reason for this blog. I want this to be my online spiritual journal, but in order for it to actually hold me accountable - I'm gonna have to tell someone about it. That's the hard part. I like to fool everyone around me into thinking that I've got it all together and always have had. I dont' know how good of a job I've actually been doing with that, but that's all out the window when I open myself up like this. It's easy for some people, but not so much for me. I do think it's necessary, though. I want to be the person God wants me to be. I want to be the wife Lance deserves and the mother Boston deserves. So, here it begins. Where will the Lord take me? I'm pretty excited about that actually. I'm ready to be completely honest with myself, with the Lord, and with the world wide web! WOW!