A Call to Die - week 2

Okay, so this week was about dealing with the "hard words" we sometimes have to hear from Jesus - like, get such and such out of your life or go do this incredibly hard thing that no one else would understand, and the like. We talked about how to deal with these hard words - 1)be receptive, 2)obey, 3)be thankful cuz He's only telling you cuz He loves you, and 4) be RUTHLESS in taking care of business! I desperately desire for Him to point out the CRAP in my life that I place before Him because I desperately want to follow Him with everything that I am. So, I ask these "young adults" to pray each day this last week for God to shine His light on anything or anyone that is occupying His place in their heart and then to write those things down so they can begin dealing with them. Did I do it? Of course not! So, then it comes time for me to prepare for the next lesson to, so inadequately, teach them and for me to blog about week 2 in this call to die and I've got nothin'! What is that all about? Why do I, essentialy, forget about Him on a daily basis? Why do I think so many other things are so much more important and worthy of my time? I blame the culture, I blame being a mother, I blame being pregnant, I blame being sick, I blame being pregnant (oh, did I already say that one?). And, although, those are all fairly valid excuses - it is really simply my decision to be selfish. I, consciously, decide to not seek after Him, to not read His Word to me, to not, genuinely, say "Yes, Lord" each and every morning. And, I'm done! I don't wanna be a poser (I initially wrote fake, but then decided to modernize the language a bit). I do love God and I want to fall deeper in love with Him. I want to be uncomfortable with the things of this world, even when that makes no sense to the people around me. I wanna follow Him and I, desperately, want for these "young adults" to experience Christ the way that I have so many times. Oh, how their lives would change. Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to play a role in showing them who You are and how You have called them to die. I commit myself to death, today.