I deleted my facebook

well actually I deactivated it - it was the only option i saw. i couldn't really find how to delete it altogether.
i didn't make some new years resolution or anything like that - God just opened my eyes to what it was doing in my life. i'm not saying that facebook is bad. i thought it was rather cool to keep up with old friends and maybe i will be able to use it as a means to do that again one day. but it just hasn't been a healthy thing for me to pursue lately. here's what i mean: i've always considered myself to be fairly self-confident. in fact, lack of self confidence in people kind of gets under my skin a little bit. i don't necessarily feel like i don't have self-confidence anymore, but I just realized that I had started to become increasingly more and more envious of other people, their lives, their things, etc... I found myself wanting to be other people and that mostly stemmed from seeing their lives played out on facebook or their blog. I am obviously continuing to blog, but I am limiting my blog stalking to friends and family. that's right - i was hopping over to other people's blogs that I didn't even know and becoming jealous of who they were and what they had and the life that they led. God awakened me to the fact that I am living the life that He has laid out for me - not because He loves me less and wants me to have less cool things or be less "put together" than these other people, but because it's the life He's called me to. He gave me these children, He gave me the means with wich to have an income, He placed the calling on our lives to minister to students and young people and families, He has given me a heart for missions and evangelism - He's Given Me THIS life!!! He's created me to be the person He wants me to be. As I slowly began to desire what other people had, it caused me to slowly doubt who I was and that is NOT a good place to be! This is really going to seem silly, but it makes perfect sense in my head: I was driving (cuz I've been doing a LOT of that in the past week) and I looked down at my sport watch that I always wear and the conference band turned inside out from the conference I had just attended. It was turned inside out because on the inside of the band was written this scripture: Isaiah 26:8 - Yes, Lord, walking in the way of your truth, we wait eagerly for you, for your name and renown are the desire of our souls. As I glanced over at it, I thought - I guess I better take that off soon because it's not going to look 'cute' when I try to dress 'cute' with jewelry and such. WHAT? I don't even really ever wear jewelry. I rarely take off the Timex Ironman sport watch -BUT the fact that my timex ironman wasn't so 'cute' was an idea that had been forming in my head over the last few months. The fact that I needed to wear jewelry and take off my sport watch because the ladie's on my facebook or the blogs I had been stalking dressed all cute most of the time and had cute jewelry and what not. Those things are fine, I suppose, if that's who you are but it isn't who I am and I have never been that person except for when I start to feel insecure and think that I need the life that someone else leads! Does that make any sense at all? God hit me right then and there and said - BE who you are! Quit pretending and trying so hard to be someone else. I love you. I made you. I want to you quit spending time on meaningless envy so that I can be glorified through you! He can't even use me when my heart is so filthy!
So, all of that to say - bye bye facebook and blog stalking! I'm ready to use my time more wisely and allow my focus to be on becoming who He wants me to be instead of seeking after what everyone else is and has.